The Decision to Marry

The decision to marry is one of the most important decisions in a lifetime.  The decision to get married in the Catholic Church is also a very important decision.  That is why Marriage Preparation is so important - it is a time for you to reflect upon your readiness to say "I do." 

 Every Engaged Couple has concerns for their future. They also have goals, promises, and dreams they wish to attain. It is for this reason that we ask, as a faith community, that every Engaged Couple spend the time and the energy in an intentional process of Marriage Preparation. The Priests and Marriage Prep Couples want to help each Engaged Couple prepare to meet those goals, keep those promises, and live out their dreams well equipped to face the pressures on married living today. 

 We believe that entering into a marriage preparation process will be a resource that will sustain a couple far beyond the wedding day.  It provides an opportunity for them to further explore their relationship to each other and to God, and to realize more fully the beauty and sanctity of married love. The process is tailored to the needs of the particular couple and includes important topics such as the Sacramentality of Marriage, Communication Skills, Married Sexuality, Finances, Family of Origin, Expectations and Problem Solving.

Participation in the Marriage Preparation process is a requirement of the Diocese of Juneau and consists of three parts or phases:

1. The Engaged Couples meets with their parish priest to talk about marriage, complete necessary paperwork and select a date for the wedding. The priest then assigns the engaged couple to a marriage prep couple.
2. The Engaged Couple meets with their preparing couple for 4-8 sessions. The Preparing Couple will facilitate their preparation for marriage, share their experiences of marriage and answer questions. This includes the completion of F.O.C.C.U.S. (Facilitating Open Couple Communication, Understanding and Study) premarital inventory. It provides individualized and couple feedback on topic areas important to marriage: life style expectations, friends and interests, personality match, personal issues, problem solving, communication, dual careers, religion and values, etc.

   In order to facilitate this Marriage Preparation process, engaged couples are asked to:

• Notify your parish priest at least six months in advance of your proposed wedding date. The priest will arrange an appointment with you to begin the process of Marriage Preparation.
• Ordinarily the priest who will witness the marriage ceremony will oversee the process of your preparation. He will make a connection between the engaged couple and the preparing couple who will be facilitating the preparation.
• After completing the process, the engaged couple will meet with the priest to confirm the wedding date and plan the liturgy for the wedding.

Family Outreach Library

The following materials are available for Marriage Prep Couples and Pastors to borrow.

• A Decision to Love (Leader's guide which includes Couple's Book)
• Before "I Do" (Book for couple to use together)
• Evenings for the Engaged (Couple Paks to use with engaged couple)
• Perspectives on Marriage (Exercises with leader guide)
• Picture of Love: Marriage Preparation Program for Convalidation Couples
• Preparing Co-Habitating Couples for Marriage (video) - provides both background and practical content to those preparing cohabiting couples for marriage.
•  Preparing for Marriage (Lessons with exercises)
• Today and All the Days of Your Life (video series)
• When the Cake Is Gone:  How to Get Married and Stay Engaged (audio) 

  Resource Links

Catholic Engaged Encounter (www.engagedencounter.org)  Engaged Encounter is a retreat weekend for couples to reflect and discuss issues and topics that will impact their marriage. This website provides further information about the retreats, helps you connect with retreats in our area, and provides links to other resources.

 Couple to Couple League (www.ccli.org) provides information and resources for couples either wanting to learn more about Natural Family Planning to plan or postpone pregnancy.  

Local Resources

The following local agencies/services can be helpful in providing or helping you to find pre-marital counseling if that is something from which you could benefit:

• Craig:
  Communities Organized for Health Options (COHO), 826-3662
• Haines:
  Lynn Canal Counseling Services, 766-2177
  SEARHC, Family Services & Alcohol Counseling, 766-2680
• Juneau:
  Catholic Community Service (CCS), 463-6129
• Ketchikan:       
  Gateway Center for Human Services, 225-4135
• Petersburg:      
  Petersburg Mental Health Service, 772-3332
• Sitka:               
  Sitka Counseling & Prevention Services, Inc., 747-8210
  Islands Counseling Services, 747-8994
• Skagway:        
  Lynn Canal Counseling Services, 983-2548
• Wrangell:
  Wrangell Community Services, 874-2373
• Yakutat:
  Tlingit Tribe Mental Health Counseling, 784-3375