Frequently Asked Questions about Marriage

Over the past year and a half as the Director of Family Outreach, I’ve been asked a number of questions about marriage and the Catholic Church. Here are some of the more commonly asked questions. If you have others or want more information than I’ve given here, please let me know either by e-mail at srmaryann@gci.net or by phone at 586-2227, ext. 29.

1. What does it mean that marriage is a sacrament?

The sacraments make Christ present in our midst. Like the other sacraments, marriage is not just for the good of individuals, or the couple, but for the community as a whole. The Catholic Church teaches that marriage between two baptized persons is a sacrament. The Old Testament prophets saw the marriage of a man and woman as a symbol of the covenant relationship between God and his people. The permanent and exclusive union between husband and wife mirrors the mutual commitment between God and God’s people. The Letter to the Ephesians says that this union is a symbol of the relationship between Christ and the Church.

2. What is the difference between a valid and an invalid Catholic marriage?

Just as individual states have certain requirement for civil marriage (e.g., a marriage license, blood tests), the Catholic Church also has requirements before Catholics can be considered validly married in the Church. A valid Catholic marriage results from four elements: (1) the spouses are free to marry; (2) they freely exchange their consent; (3) in consenting to marry, they have the intention to marry for life, to be faithful to one another and be open to children; (4) their consent is given in the presence of two witnesses and before a properly authorized Church minister.

3. If two Catholics or a Catholic and non-Catholic are married invalidly in the eyes of the church, what should they do about it?

The couple should approach their pastor to try to resolve the situation. He will be happy to help them with this.

4. When a Catholic marries a non-Catholic, must the non-Catholic promise to raise the children in the Catholic faith?

The non-Catholic spouse does not have to promise to have the children raised Catholic. The Catholic spouse must promise to do all that he or she can to have the children baptized and raised in the Catholic faith.

5. If a Catholic and non-Catholic want to marry, how can they assure that their marriage is recognized by the Church?

In addition to meeting the criteria for a valid Catholic marriage (see question #2), the Catholic must seek permission from the local bishop to marry a non-Catholic. If the person is a non-Catholic Christian, this called a “permission to enter into a mixed marriage.” If the person is a non-Christian, the permission is called a “dispensation from disparity of cult.” The pastor of the Catholic’s parish or mission will assist with the permission process.

6. Why does a Catholic wedding have to take place in a church?

For Catholics, marriage is not just a social or family event, but a church event. For this reason, the Church prefers that marriages between Catholics, or between Catholics and other Christians, be celebrated in the parish church of one of the spouses. Only the local bishop can permit a marriage to be celebrated in another suitable place or in another church for a sufficient reason.

7. What should a couple do when they decide that they want to marry in the Catholic Church?

The couple should contact their parish as soon as possible, at least six months in advance, and make an appointment to talk with the priest. The priest will explain the process of marriage preparation and if appropriate connect them with a Marriage Preparation Couple.

8. What is the marriage preparation that is offered in the Diocese of Juneau?

Every couple who are to be married in the Catholic Church in the Diocese of Juneau is required to participate in marriage preparation. This marriage preparation includes meeting with a trained “married prep” couple for 4-6 session and taking the premarital inventory, FOCCUS, which identifies issues for discussion. This offers the couple the opportunity to develop a better understanding of Christian marriage; to evaluate and deepen their readiness to live married life; and to gain insights into themselves as individuals and as a couple. It is especially effective in helping couples deal with the challenges of the early years of marriage.

9. What is an annulment?

An annulment is a declaration by a tribunal (Catholic Church court) that a marriage thought to be valid according to Church law actually fell short of at least one of the essential elements required for a binding union (see question #2). The annulment process examines the events leading up to, and at the time of, the wedding ceremony, in an effort to determine whether what was required for a valid marriage was ever brought about. A declaration of nullity does not deny that a relationship existed between the couple, the love the spouses had for one another or the legitimacy of the children of the marriage. Unlike civil divorce, an annulment does not erase something that was already there, but rather it is a declaration that a valid marriage was never actually brought about on the wedding day.